Jokes

URWENYA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!JOKES!!!!!!!!!

-   Reka dukomeze twsisekere: Umushoferi ndavuga babandi batwara imodoka, yaratwaye abantu bane maze akora impanuka bose uko arfi bane barapfa asigara wenyine! Maze police iza muri investigatitions iramubaza iti:
* Police: Wari utwaye abantu bangahe?
* chauffeur: Bane nyakubahwa.
*Police: Hanyuma urabica?
*chauffeur: Yego nyakubahwa!
* Police: Hari ikindi wongeraho?
*chauffeur: None se nyakubahwa ni inde      uzabishyurira amafaranga ya transport? ahhhh!

-Abasazi babiri barahuye maze umwe abaza undi ati: amakuru ki se? maze aramusubiza ati: nsize Radio igiye kuyarangiza!
   maze uwambere aramubwira ati nakubazaga niba uraho? undi aramusubiza ati si ndi aho ndi hano!!!!!!!!!!!

- umugabo mugufi yahuye n'uwigikara maze aramubwira ngo uri igikara kuburyo iyo umubu ugiye kukuruma witwaza itoroshi!
Maze wawundi w'igikara ahita amusubiza ngo wowe uri mugufi kuburyo iyo bagufotoye passeport iza ari full-size!!!!!!!!

--Umugabo yari agiye kwimuka maze umuturanyi wabo araza abaza umwana ati niko sha mugiye kwimukira iki? umwana ati buriya inzu yacu uko uyibona ni nto cyane, maze PAPA arara hejuru ya MAMA!!!!!! haaahahahahahaha!

Umugabo yafashe inuma ngo ajye kuyirya iramubwira iti : “Reka nkubwire ikintu kimwe nako bitatu ubone undye”. Icya mbere : Ikintu cyakugeze mu ntoki ntikikaguhende ubwenge ngo ukirekure, icya kabiri : ntukababazwe n’icyo wakoze. Iti : “Ndekura nkubwire icya gatatu cy’ingenzi”. Arayirekura irigurukira. Inuma iti : “Waba umupfu urakanyagwa”. Na bibiri bya mbere ntiwabyubahirije none nkubwire ikindi ?”

 

Umupasitoro w’Umugande yasuye abarokore bo mu Rwanda akenera umusemuzi. Usemura akagira icyongereza gike. Aratangira ati : « Alleluya, Amen. God bless you ». Usemura ati :“Alleluya Imana ibakomeretse”. Pasitoro ati : “Amen, When I was in Johannesburg”. Umusemuzi ati : “Ubwo nari mu mufuka wa Yohani”. So many types of carbags, ati : “Nahasanze za karazibaga, zikennye cyane z’amoko yose”.

 

Umugabo yasezeranye n’umugore we ko uzajya ahemukira undi azajya ashyira igishyimbo mu cyibo. Umwe afata icye n’undi icye. Ku munsi mukuru bibuka imyaka 50 bamaze babana, umukecuru azana icyibo cye arira, ati : « Rwose umbabarire dore harimo ibishyimbo bitatu ». Umugabo nawe apfundura icye, umukecuru arushaho kurira avuga ko yahemukiye umugabo kandi ko w enta na rimwe kuko icyibo cye cyarimo ubusa. Umugabo amubwira yisekera ati : « Ceceka mugore, ahubwo nanjye umbabarire kuko biriya bishyimbo twariye mu kwezi kwa kane n’ukwa gatanu ndetse n’ukwa gatandatu nabivanye mu cyibo cyanjye ».

 

Muganga yagiye gusura abarwayi bo ku bitaro aherekejwe n’umuforomokazi. Ageze iruhande rw’igitanda cy’umurwayi usa n’ubabaye cyane, muganga aravuga ati : « Ndabona uriya amaso ameze nabi nimumujyane mu buruhukiro kuko yapfuye ». Umugabo ashyira ijwi ejuru, ati : « ashwi ndi muzima ». Umuforomokazi aramukankamira, ati : « Ceceka, urusha muganga ubwenge ? » Ahamagaye abataravayeri bo gutwara umurambo, umugabo arabyuka ariruka ! ».

 

Mu Ruhengeri ingagi yagiye mu kabari. Ishyira inoti y’igihumbi ku meza yaka icupa, maze nyir’akabari yibwira ko nta bwenge izi ayigarurira 100 gusa ayibwira neza ati : « Kukubona ndumva binshimishije, kuko ubusanzwe nta ngagi nyinshi zijya zinywera hano ». Nayo iti : « Ntizikahaze niba muzica 900 ku icupa rimwe ».

 

Umugore w’inyonjo yagendanaga n’uw’amatwi manini. Uw’amatwi abwira uw’inyonjo ati : « Simbagiza umwana tugende dore imvura iraguye ». Uw’inyonjo ati : « Ese wantije umutaka umwe ko mbona ufite ibiri nkamutwikira ? ».

 

Umugabo yifatiye undi, ati : “Ubu mvuye muri Amerika, Uburayi ndetse n’Aziya, ati mbese ubu nta mugabane w’isi ntagezemo”. Undi, ati : “Ubanza ugarutse uzi géographie yose”. Uwabeshye, ati : “Yababaaa !!! Ubwo naba narajyanywe n’iki ntarageze muri géographie (gewogarafi), narayeyo gatatu kose”.

 

Umugabo, umugore n’umwana wabo bari bicaye ku kiyaga bota akazuba. Hari abantu benshi baje koga, imbere yabo hanyura umukobwa wari wambaya utwenda bogana. Umugore abona umwana wabo amwitegereza abwira umugabo ati : “Umwana wawe amaze gukura !”. Barakomeza baricara, hashize akanya undi mukobwa wari wambaye agakariso gusa aratambuka maze wa mugabo aratangara, ati : “Yoo !” Umugore amukubita inkokora ati : “Ariko ubwo uzi ko ukuze cyangwa urashaka kurushanwa amerwe n’umuhungu wawe ?”

 

Abapasitori batatu baciye ahantu ku gasozi bajya inama yo kubwirana utugeso duto twabo kugira ngo basabirane bababarirwe. Uwa mbere ati : « Rero bene data, jyewe akayoga ngotomeraho ». Uwo baramusabira. Undi, ati : “Nkunda kwikinisha (masturbation) kandi mfite umugore nkunda cyane n’ikimenyimenyi ejo bundi naramusomye !” Nawe arasabirwa. Uwa gatatu ati : “Yewe bahungu iyanjye sinzi niba nzayicikaho, jyewe ndazimura cyane, sinzi guhisha icyo numvise !” Abandi bakubitwa n’inkuba bati : “Ibyo twavuze byose azabivuga !”